Another bill, for $2k.  This time in a different account for some reason.  I’m already overdrawn trying to cover the meds and the bills I already paid and caught up on.  My total’s now up over 25k.

This is just unreal.  It’s all I can think about.  I’ve lost any feeling of joy or enjoyment in my life lately because all I can think about is this massive fucking bill looming over my head.

And the fact that, since I self-finance my films I probably won’t be doing any of them for the next few years.  And if I get too deep I’ll have to pawn my music gear.  I can’t travel now, like I told myself I would when I survived.  And I already can’t go out to eat anymore.

I’ve busted my ass my entire adult career and finally, in the last year, had gotten to the point where I was financially comfortable.  Money has always been a huge stressor to me and it was so nice for that short time to not even have to worry about it anymore.  And now it’s all gone.  And the stress is all back.

So what’s the fucking point?  Seriously.  I’m out of words.