I’ve been trying to keep a level head and a positive outlook with all that’s happened and I think, for the most part, I’ve done a pretty good job.  I have my moments and I’m getting a bit grumpier about the new way food happens in my life (i.e., I feel like all I do now is eat, and I’m counting everything, and it’s all bland, etc etc etc) but all in all I’ve been looking at this as a positive change.  I’m feeling good, starting to notice a reduction in squishiness, clothes are draping on me better, exercise is getting easier even as I increase the duration and intensity.
Tonight I hit a milestone with my workouts.  I bought the running shoes I mentioned in an earlier post and was pretty jazzed about them.  So I spent 30 minutes of hard time (70+ RPM nonstop) on the bike where, until yesterday, I’ve been spending 20-25.  Then I took a few plates off my barbell, lifted for 10-15 minutes, and went straight on my walk.  I clocked over an hour of exercise.  The crowd cheered, the ladies swooned, the heavens opened up and such.  I tested my blood an hour later and I was in the perfect range, whereas I’ve been testing low lately.

So, damn.  I’m pretty awesome tonight.  I joined a gym for the first time in my life.  I’m talking to some friends about training for the Ragnar next year.  Soon I will be a buffed out, jocky athlete-type and wear nothing but underarmor and sweat pants.

And then I test my blood right before bed.

And it’s almost record low.

More food.  More carbs.  More eating when I’m absolutely, 100% not hungry and now I’m back up to almost 80.

Here, take these pills, watch your diet, eat well, or the diabetes monster (thanks mySugr) will get you.  And then, while you’re at it, exercise at least this much or else your heart will nuke again.

And then sit back and watch exercise steal hard fought glucose numbers as the two fight for dominance over my life.

Positive attitude can go to hell.  Tonight I’m over this.  Tomorrow, I’ll try to get back on the happy wagon.